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Choosing the Lesser of Two Evils

📺When my time was my own (pre-kids), I would sometimes spend a sleepy Sunday afternoon watching a film... something it didn't matter if you fell asleep in the middle of... something like Master and Commander of the Sea (sorry, Russell Crowe and Paul Bettany, but that thing is lo-o-ong!)

😍One of the scenes I always enjoyed though was the "lesser of two weevils" joke. I love the genuine camraderie and laughter of it, even though it is *such* dad humour 🙄

🪲The phrase they are joking about is "the lesser of two evils": you only have two choices, they are both bad, and the only thing you can do is choose the least bad one. There's a lot of places in life right now, where we can feel forced to make that kind of choice - we don't like either one, but there doesn't seem to be any other option!

⚖️EITHER stay in a job that sucks all our joy OR our family will miss out on the opportunities they want and deserve

⚖️EITHER say "yes" to every extra responsibility given to us at work OR say "no" and get called a "diva" / "not committed"

⚖️EITHER don't talk about our parenting methods to keep the status quo in our friendship group OR get judged for our screen-time / tummy-time / me-time / feeding-time / pretty-much-any-kind-of time decisions

🔗90% of the choices we feel trapped in an "either-or", really are not. Life just is more complex than that, and human creativity & genius is capable of many more than two choices (just ask a toddler - give them two choices and they will propose a third every👏single👏time)

✨If you feel trapped between two bad choices, before you decide to accept the least bad, book a free call with me to see if these three sessions (link below⬇️) can help you tap into your creativity and genius and find a different way forward:

#dontgettrappedgetcoached

#dontgetfrustratedgetcoached

https://www.yourbeautifulrevolution.com/.../where-am-i...

Shine a Light!

🪟When we moved into our current house, it didn't have double glazing, so as soon as we had saved up enough, we got that put in.

☠️However, the contractors that put the windows in didn't seal them properly (treat good tradespeople like royalty when you find them💎). It made no difference until several years later when there were four of us at home 24/7 in lockdown and then we started to notice black mould!

🧫Mould grows where there is low sunlight⬇️☀️+ low airflow⬇️💨+ high humidity ⬆️💧which = every occupied British house in winter! Water moisture creeps into the dark join between the brick wall and the pvc window and with the windows closed to keep out the winter cold (and especially when we were all staying home in lockdown), you've created the perfect environment for mould to multiply and spread.

👎It's not 100% known how, but toxic mould does lots of nasty things to our bodies, making allergies worse, and sometimes even affecting our mental health, so getting rid of any mould is a priority.

💔I believe a different kind of mould, that's also toxic, can spread over our inner lives.

⬇️☀️When we stuff our dreams down in the dark where no one, not even us, can see them they can shrivel into a hard kernel of cynicism.

⬇️💨When we don't allow fresh ideas and perspectives to waft over our own view of the world once in a while, it can become brittle and stagnant.

⬆️💧When we don't bring our desires to the surface where they can be examined and affirmed, they can dissolve and spread bitterness into everything we say and do.

🔎Maybe it's time to air your life, shake it out, let some sunshine in, and see where things need attention. These three sessions can help you look at your life as a whole and see where things are great and where you want to make a change (see link below⬇️). Why not book a call with me to see how we can work together?

#guardyourheart

Burn Baby Burn!

I love the January sales! I love to get a bargain - something I want for a price that I convince myself I can afford. This year I bought a firepit. I love the smell of a wood fire, and we don't have space for one in our house right now. I have visions of friends gathered, chatting, lingering and laughing around a fire…I haven't lit it yet though and my grace period with my husband for buying another unused thing is fast decreasing

Fire is an amazing thing isn't it - the science of it is fascinating, and watching it is mesmerizing. It’s been used to describe passion for centuries because of its beauty, life-giving warmth, and its destructive potential.

As we've substituted other forms of fuel for heating and cooking, we associate fire more with an aesthetic look, or as a danger. We've forgotten how essential and core to life the heat of a fire has been.

I think passion or desire or creative flow has gone the same way - some people see only the danger of "giving in to your passions" which just sounds deliciously destructive! And some people see following your passion as only an accessory or a luxury maybe for after you retire. But like heat, I think passion is core to life!

Do you know what ignites your creative passion?

If you think this world has no time for your passion, can I suggest that sometimes we forget that it is an essential driver for great work and energy? Without passion, any task is drained of inspiration and becomes grey and boring. People are not robots, and we are not good at churning out uniform products or repetitive tasks. We need to connect to our passion to create our best, unique and groundbreaking work. Whatever our job is – it will be better when we do it with passion.

Of course, passion, like fire, needs containment and direction to be effective - it needs boundaries and a framework to do its greatest work. I'm not encouraging that we all just "follow our hearts" and give up on sacrifice and a good work ethic. We need both. A firepit without fire has no purpose, and a fire without containment only destroys the bigger it gets.

Which do you need? Do you need to discover or to direct your creative flow?

If you are interested in discovering how to find your passion and incorporate it into your life, these three sessions are a good place to start . Contact me to discuss how we can work together.

https://www.yourbeautifulrevolution.com/.../where-am-i...

#burnbabyburn

People-pleasing, Shmeeple-pleasing

Today has been hard work. One of my children has been unwell-with-probably-not-Covid (German is brilliant for descriptive new words - there is probably a word already for this, something like notCovidsickness). Anyways, they have been totes emosh.

As an empathetic, recovering people-pleaser this kind of situation can really knock me to the floor. A lot of people who struggle with people-pleasing are empathetic - they can sense how someone else is feeling without being told - which makes the temptation to put someone else's needs before their own too often an easy one to slip into. With a sick child, you don't necessarily have to be that empathetic to know how they are feeling, they will let you know! The challenge is trying to keep track of which feeling is dominant in the current second, and letting them know you see them and want to help - it can be exhausting! Put a in the comments if you can relate!

Sick kids who need grace are one thing, but people-pleasing in general is another. How do you say "no" to other people's expectations / needs when it's damaging your mental health?

One way that's really important is to address the relationships in your past that taught you that your needs are less important than other people's. But when some layers of that have been taken off, what do you do with the habit of people-pleasing?

I’ve found that I need:

a strong vision for my life (and for my child's life) that is more compelling and vibrant than other demands in the moment. It's much easier (not easy!) to say "no" to something that sounds good or that will relieve discomfort in the moment, if you have already said "yes" to something that is much more wonderful, attractive and satisfying.

systems to get to that vision, so my time, energy, attention is being spent well. Then when I say “yes” to someone it comes out of overflow not resentment / obligation.

NB/ If you fill every minute of your life with your own concerns, that vision will not compel you for long #justsayin

Do you have any other tips for how to say “no” either to your kids, or to grown-ups?!

If you need help discovering your own vision of what you want your life to look like, these three sessions are a good place to start . Book a free call to discuss how we can work together (before 31-01-2022, to benefit from the 20% discount).

https://www.yourbeautifulrevolution.com/

Can External Peace Replace Inner Peace?

It's days like today that I start dreaming about living abroad. The place I dream about most is Italy - ever since I first went to Tuscany with friends about 15 years ago now.

I love so much about it:

the sights - the architecture, the landscapes, the history (apparently Italy currently has the most UNESCO heritage sites of any country in the world),

the sounds - the language, the opera, the cheesy pop,

the smells - wood fires, incense and perfume,

the tastes - coffee, pasta, lavender, citrus, tomato, cheese, olives, ice cream and of course wine...

(I'm conveniently forgetting a few things here, like hornets the size of my 3 year old's fist, scorpions, that time I got 60 mosquito bites in one afternoon...)

And while I'm not ruling out ever moving there (or you know, having a place there and here - a girl can dream!), I've got to keep reminding myself that external peace is no match for inner peace.

People often change their location to improve their quality of life, or the quality of a relationship, but it doesn't matter where you go, neither a place in the sun or city lights will resolve inner or relational turmoil, it will only distract for a short while.

The Hebrew word for peace is shalom, and it means wholeness and even a defeat of chaos, which is a significant concept and one I don't claim that coaching can provide.

However, alignment of your values, your actions, your goals, your vision will take you toward wholeness, and away from chaos, which will definitely increase your inner peace. And who knows what else you will discover after that?

If you'd like to discuss what alignment looks like to you, book a call with me, and if you do that before Monday you could still benefit from my January prices which go up on 1 February.

www.yourbeautifulrevolution.com

What Season Are You In?

Spring is coming! Its not here yet but snowdrops are beginning to appear (did you know that snowdrops are among the first earliest spring bulbs to bloom?)

The changes in the physical seasons of the year are fairly easy to spot in the UK (except for summer which lasts for four days somewhere between June and October ). However, I didn’t really notice the seasons much when I lived and worked in a densely populated city – there’s a lot of concrete, pavements, heating, air con & bright lights.

We do a lot to control our environment and make it optimal. One reason may be because we focus so much on consistent, efficient output. But let’s be honest, controlling our environment is also just more convenient.

By the time I moved out of the city and to a slightly more leafy area of the country, I had optimised myself into burn out. Living a bit more aware of the seasons, I gradually noticed that the natural environment is constantly changing, something is beginning, something is growing, something is ending. I began to realise that optimal can just be another word for monotony and consistent, efficient output sounds more like a battery than a human being.

This life has more cyclical aspects than our industrialist straight line culture allows, and humans go through seasons just like the rest of the natural world.

Jim Rohn has popularised this idea in his book The Seasons of Life, what season do you identify with most at the moment?

Spring – hope, new beginnings

Summer – development and maturing

Autumn – consequences - success and achievement, or regret and failure

Winter – sadness, heartbreak, loneliness, sickness

Coaching will be most effective when you are aligned with the season you are in, which it can also help identify. This is why I love coaching!

If you’re in Spring, it can help you identify your opportunities and keep you in action.

If you’re in Summer, it can help you keep focussed on your vision, and identify those things that are a distraction.

If you’re in Autumn, it can help you identify and face the facts of your activity or lack of in your seasons of Spring and Summer, and identify what resources you have to save to prepare for any season of winter.

If you’re in Winter, it can help you rest, reflect, plan and learn so that you’re poised and ready for the next Spring.

If this resonates with you and you want help to identify your season or to make the most of the season you are in, book a call with me to discuss how we can work together.